7. The reality
This is probably the evolution not all couple want to see because when reality hits you, it hits you real hard. It can be disheartening to realize that you are two individuals and you both have differences. You both need to learn how to compromise and manage conflicts. This may not happen for you both at the same time, but if you can accept each other’s need for independence, you’ll have a much better chance to live a long and healthy relationship.
8. Practising independence
Yes, we all need freedom at some point. In this stage, your need for independence starts growing and you may start wanting to get your own. Arguments and criticism become more frequent and intense, particularly around topics like money and family.
This is a difficult stage and a majority of couples break up around this time. Look for ways to discuss your differences and disagreements and be honest about your feelings. Also look for your partner’s needs, but keep showing affection and spending some quality time together.
9. We to me
You feel less connected in this stage and look to ‘find yourself’ again. The focus shifts from ‘we’ to ‘me’ as you both start asking yourselves: ‘Who am I?’ ‘What do I want?’ ‘What do I need?’
It may feel like you are drifting apart because you’re both busy doing your own things. You might argue more and may even consider having an affair or breaking up.