I urge you to read each and every confession of the “Jumper Cables Guy” getting whipped by his dad carefully and visualize each and every word he says in your head. That’s the only way to completely enjoy it!
1. I Don’t Know I Don’t Have Kids But Who Cares! The Jumper Cables Guy Is Here!
His stories start off as true and gripping and BAM! He hits you! Not with the jumper cables though.
2. How The Hell Does He Come Up With All These Crazy Stories And Connect Them With The Jumper Cables?
He’s not jump starting a car but he sure is an expert at connecting everything with the jumper cables.
3. It’s Time To End It Especially When You’ve Been Beaten Like That In Front Of Your Girlfriend.
What is wrong with his dad though.
4. His Childhood Mainly Consisted Of Being Beaten By A Pair Of Jumper Cables.
By his dad.
5. Edit: My Mom Is Not An Option. The Internet Is Such A Mature Place.
I’m starting to feel bad for this guy now.
6. Jumper Cables. That’s What Bothering Him Right Now.
Yeah. A lot!
7. Let’s See How Our Guy Here Handles Acid Trips.
That’s one hell of an acid trap mate.
8. And Would You Look At That! Being Beaten By His Dad With Jumper Cables Helped Him Sober Up A Little.
So it is true. There is a bright side to everything.
9. I’m Starting To Think That These Cables Are Some Sort Of Blessing In Disguise.
You’ll never see him coming groovygarrett! He’s the best.
10. He’s So Accustomed To It That He’s Starting Predicting The Next Possible Beating.
Come on dad give him a break.
11. Anything! Give Me Any Snack And I’ll Reach The Bottom Of The Pack Like An Archeologist.
I’d like to know that too!
12. I Was Accused Of Ringing The Neighbour’s Doorbell And Running Away Which I Did Not Do But This Guy Obviously Had It Worse.
Being beaten by his dad on a regular basis must have left so many scars on him.
13. I Was Afraid Of The Dark.
That’s actually a good point. What if all of this was true? That would be disturbing!
14. Damn It! A Man Can’t Even Blend Smoothies Before Work Without Being Beaten By Their Mentally Unstable Dad.
Most people never see it coming.
15. I’m Not Sure Where I Was Going With That But Torrenting Should Be Legal.
Even his half assed comments are funny.
16. So Is The Beating Necessary For The Cooking Process Or Not.
The cables aren’t an ingredient? That’s a relief.