Romance isn’t just about a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day. A satisfying relationship can also make people feel happy and healthy. But keep in mind that successful relationships aren’t just about rainbows and butterflies—a healthy partnership requires communication, respect, and plenty of good habits from both people. So when dating that special someone, avoid stalking their ex on Facebook, keeping feelings bottled up, and splitting the double cheeseburger every night. Here are 12 ugly habits that may hurt your relationship, filling it with negativity.
1. Finding faults with the fam
The ’rents may be harder to handle than your significant other. But even if there’s some clashing of heads, don’t focus on the family’s faults. Getting criticism from family members can make people feel depressed and hostile—which means some tense holiday dinners. Besides, the situation can’t be worse than what Gaylord went through.
2. Fighting in public
This ugly habits can simply kill your relationship in an instance. As if PDA weren’t bad enough. Arguing in public can embarrass the couple and make everyone around feel awkward, too. Talk it out in private, please.
3. Not talking it out
If something is wrong, the other person probably can’t read your mind. When a problem comes up, speak up at the right time. One study suggests young couples are less stressed when they talk out their issues than when they keep their feelings bottled up. And don’t forget to say, “I love you.” Expressing emotions—positive and negative—can benefit that bond.
4. Forgetting to forgive
People make mistakes, and holding onto grudges may not only hurt a relationship—it could also cause unwanted stress and anxiety. Sympathy may be easier to give if we realize it will benefit our health.
5. Timing discussions badly
Conversations about important issues, like relationship expectations and financial blunders, all have their time and place. Don’t bring up serious topics when someone’s stressed, like at the end of the workday or right before hosting a party. Set up a time to talk when both people are relaxed.
6. Being melodramatic
No relationship is perfect. So don’t create unnecessary drama in every scenario. If a mate forgets to take out the garbage, there’s no need for a scene. Take a few breaths and address the problem calmly. Melodrama is probably the other version of negativity, so stay away from it.
When two people want to make it work, trust is key. Have confidence in your mate and respect their privacy: Don’t snoop through texts, emails, or bedroom drawers.
8. Allowing jealousy to take over
Doubting your partner may be a symptom of a larger problem: relationship insecurity. And women who feel insecure in their relationships may be at greater risk for health issues like a weakened immune system. Some advice for reducing envy, at least temporarily? Stay off Facebook and other social networking sites, it helps you stay away from all kind of negativity.
9. Constantly comparing
Forget the ex and stop comparing a current partner with a person from the past. This could lead to unrealistic expectations.
Little white lies can add up and ruin a relationship that should be built on honesty. There is wiggle room, of course: “Sweetie, that homemade dinner tasted great…”
11. Taking him or her for granted
Always remember why you love that special someone. Showing gratitude and paying attention to that good person by your side will only make the relationship stronger.
12. Keeping score
Sure, relationships should be about giving and taking, but don’t keep track of every little detail (For exampe, I paid for the last six dinners, and you only paid for five!). It can cause unnecessary tension. This one thing is surely one of those very ugly habits.